I hereby reject reality in favor of these lives...

A demi-god



Perks:

-your dad's a god

-you control water...or whatever else your parent may be the god of. Wine might be interesting.

-spontaneous regeneration is only a faucet away

A witch in training



Perks:

-instant access to Hogwart's, Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley, and every other place that muggles can't see.

-brooms, flu powder, and apparition beat airports any day of the week.

-two words: Avada Kedavra. I know a few jerks who could benefit from my conspicuous use of that spell.

A jumper



Perks:

-breakfast in Egypt, brunch in New Zealand, lunch on Mount McKinley, a quick coffee in Italy, dinner in the middle of the Amazon and...lets fall asleep in Mecca tonight.

-Free access to every theme park, every concert, every sporting event, and every secret government building on the face of the Earth.

-Pop in. Kill a terrorist. Pop out. War over. 25 billion dollars saved.

An immortal



Perks:

-the possibility of thousands of years of knowledge in a body at it's prime.

-you could experiment with every single death you've ever been afraid of.

-you get to play with swords!

A Cleric



Perks:

-Guntaka

-the fear and respect of everyone around you.

-no pesky emotions to weigh you down at the end of the day.

A Jedi



Perks:

-the Force

-a universe at your fingertips and any cruiser you want to get there

-you get to play with LIGHT SABERS!

A pirate



Perks:

-a life at sea free from laws and stuffy English protocal

-ARG! The accent maties!

-yeah...the rum

A vampire



Perks:

-immortality

-superstrength, superspeed, supersight, superscent

-the add-on options of turning into other animals, glamouring people, reading minds, seeing the future, controlling emotions, sparkling in the sunlight, and pining over girls 100 to 1000 years your junior. (all depending on who you read/watch)

A half vampire



Perks:

-daywalking

-semi-superstrength, semi-superspeed, semi-supersight, semi-superscent...you get the pattern.

-an armory of cool weapons to play with

A vampire slayer



Perks:

-once again...the cool weapons

-the satisfaction of being the very last person that someone would ever suspect of being a vampire slayer.

-never having to be a morning person

A mind reader



Perks:

-the ultimate untraceable copyright infringement

-the ability to finally see through layers upon layers of judicial bull.

-admit it...some minds would just be hours upon hours of entertainment.

An elf



Perks:

-near immortality in a supernaturally beautiful state

-perfect harmony with nature

-a plaza reserved since birth on the last boat out of here.

The Seeker



Perks:

-a destiny to save the world

-a wizard and a confessor as travelling companions

-a sword of truth, the ability to read a writing that no one else can, and to top it all off...let's add wizard's blood from both sides of the family.

The Muad'Dib



Perks:

-another destiny to save the world

-Sandworms. Best. Transportation. Ever.

-Spice eyes. Who didn't want those?

A member of the X-men



Perks:

-admittance into a secret society of superheroes

-powers that are so strong they scare people, whatever they may be.

-even your enemies are awesome!

A demon hunter



Perks:

-a lifetime of knowing exactly how the things under your bed will attack.

-rock salt rifles, pretty stars all over your floor and cool encantations.

-the arrogance of knowing that you're the only one with power over Satan and an Archangel.

The Avatar



Perks:

-earth bending
-air bending
-fire bending
-water bending

A Furyan



Perks:

-awesome cat's eyes

-a warrior's heritage and a prophecy of an ultimate win

-the ability to kill anything without breaking a sweat

An ass-kicking angel



Perks:

-the ability to drop out of the sky anywhere you feel like it

-bulletproof wings

-God on your side

A bullet bender



Perks:

-the ability to bend bullets and make them go wherever you want them to

-a cool little fate weaving machine to figure out who to shoot next

-magic healing hot tubs...or cold tubs.

The princess of the Underworld



Perks:

OK, she gets chased by one of the most terrorific monsters, her mother dies, her only friend is a tree, and she has to sacrifice herself for her baby brother. There are no real perks. I just think it would be cool if, after all that, you ended up in the underworld and heard. "Hey kid, guess what..."

A member of a secret society of ninjas



Perks:

-trained since birth to be perfect in sword fighting, dagger throwing, and for some strange reason, pretending to be blind.

-complete power over random men

-those really awesome cliche floating-on-a-stick-of-bamboo marshal arts movements that defy gravity and everyone dreams of doing.

A dragon-rider



Perks

-dragon

-death defying nose dives on said dragon

-the advantage of being the only one in your world who actually has a dragon to ride

A pusher



Perks:

-the ability to make anyone do anything you want, see anything you want them to see, and remember anything you want them to remember,

-friends who can see the future and manipulate objects

-the mysterious ability to afford airline tickets to just about anywhere, as well as inconspicuous false documents...but that just may be the movie.

Willy Wonka



Perks:

-unlimited amounts of chocolate formed into a strange and magical world where you can eat anything you find

-the ability to torture and punish spoiled rotten children without lawsuits

-an army full of little orange face servants to do your bidding

An off-the-charts genious



Perks:

-the knowledge that you are smarter than anyone else out there

-big corporations fighting to pay you hundreds of thousands of dollars to do something that they can't

-humble math teachers bailing you out all the time

A professional assassin



Perks:

-hundreds of state of teh art weapons at your disposal and the ability to use every one of them at expert level.

-the coolness to look someone in the eye as you take their life

-lets face it...it's the bar code tattoo!

A genetically engineered superweapon



Perks:

-being created for the sole purpose of being a wicked badass

-extra strength extra speed, and extra senses without the pesky vampire hang-ups

the secret IT hottie that helps you 24/7 behind the scenes

A descendant of witches



Perks

-the knowledge that you could probably kill everyone in your high school class if you felt like it.

-most interesting family history ever!

-the best collision insurance is always a car that can shatter into pieces and then fully assemble itself instantaneously.

The Goblin King



Perks

-prime real estate smack in the middle of a magical maze

-the knowledge that you are the best looking creature in your kingdom

-a soundtrack full of awesome 80's songs...and Dance Magic!

A child prodigy



Perks:

-you're 10 and you're a brain surgeon. What isn't a perk?

-prodigy's salary, child's imagination. Can we say back yard theme park?

-the satisfaction of blowing a grad school curve at the age of eight

One of the last people on Earth



Perks: (OK, I'd prefer it not to be me and a population of vampire zombies, but who's being picky?)
-no lines...anywhere
-no traffic jams or bad drivers
-no reality TV shows
-no rap music
-all of the stupid people would have already died!
-I could go on and on for this one. what is not good about losing somewhere near 99 percent of the population?

Death



Perks:

-experiencing everything to do with life for the very first time

-appearing in the body of whatever exptremely hot movie start you feel like at the time

-the wonderful privilege of taking whoever you want back with you

A bullfighter



Perks:
-the Suit of Lights...come on, it's awesome!

-the adrenaline of facing something that is considered the most dangerous animal in an entire country

-the glamour and mystery that comes with being cold and calm enough to stare something that could disembowel you in the eye, and then let it come close enough to bleed on you

A secret special ops spy



Perks:

-finding out suddenly and without effort that you know every form of Martial Art known to man

-finding out suddenly and without effort that you speak about 8 different languages

-paid travel...even if it does involve killing the leader of the country that you're visiting

Unbreakable



Perks:
-What? Surviving every natural and unnatural disaster isn't enough?

-never once getting sick enough to even cough!

-knowing that you can do every extreme sport in the book and never blow out a knee or herniate a disc.

A teenage private investigator



Perks:

-a police force, however resentful and useless, at your disposal

-the ability to exact revenge of the worst kind on anyone who gets in her way. Who hasn't wanted to tase a cheerleader or a dirbag fratboy?

-the goods on every famous rich boy in a ten mile radius. Can we say blackmail?

A Musketeer



Perks:

-swords, swords, and more swords

-chivalry and honor--something that's in short supply nowadays

-you get to play around in the French palace, where all of that beautiful French clothing...and eat French food!